


Obey Me Drabbles

by cypherd



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Or at least bi, a few references to popular culture, main character has a name in some cases but it is not my name, main character is kind of a lesbian, platonish relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:54:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22368265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cypherd/pseuds/cypherd
Summary: A series of drabble things I've written based on Obey Me. I've added the rating in case stuff changes.
Relationships: Beelzebub & Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 39





	1. Foodie

**Author's Note:**

> Based on my personal distinct dislike of marble cheese and a friend commenting on it and in which Beelzebub is curious about how one can actively dislike a food.

Beel, when humans want to be bad about their diet they eat…chocolate. And marble cheese. And BEER.”

“Marble cheese is something you consider not good to eat?”

“Um…I suppose so, This is where you’re going with it? Not the beer?”

“You don’t like chocolate. I know you like beer because you stole mine and lied about it.”

“I didn’t ‘steal’ it, I told you I was going to—well never mind. Lying and stealing is like Demon 101 anyway. But okay no, I don’t like marble cheese. When I can have medium cheddar why would I ever want that crap? It’s…kind of flavourless.”

“Food is food.”

“”Food is not just food. My dear sweet Beel. You’re going to be a foodie yet.”

“Doesn’t eating automatically make me one?”

“What? NO! Look Okay. It’s like…white bread. No one eats white bread.”

“Yes they do. Humans eat white bread.”

“But it’s…rubbery Okay no one eats it unless they have to. I mean…okay when I was poor i ate it but now I have some income…”

“Well what about the packet ramen?”

“Packet ramen is delicious. Mango curry cup noodles are the best.””

“You are only slightly wrong Actually it’s spicy curry..”

“Packet ramen is not on the same level as marble cheese. And from someone who likes cheeseburgers you just shhh. Shh. Hard.”

“I have an idea.”

“And does that idea involve me making you food?”

“Yep. There are apples and cinnamon in the fridge. I hear humans enjoy that combination.”

“Eh, sure I’ll make you an apple pie.”


	2. Insects

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which our Reader is saved from curiosity by the timely intervention of Luke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader's name is Dana - as it's a name that could easily work for a person of any gender or non-gender. However as a lot of my stories are based on some of the nasty shit I did when I was in University, I can promise you I have eaten some WEIRD stuff in the name of my own curiosity.

“I don’t feel so good.”

It was Lucifer who actually put the pillow under Dana’s head. “And what have we learned?”

“Please don’t.”

“We learned not to share demon food.”

“Uhuh.”

“We told you humans can’t eat it.”

“I don’t want to eat anything ever again.”

“It will help if you eat my cakes. I don’t want to see you this way.” The petite angel stood over the human’s bed.

“No.”

“Just one bite. It will settle your stomach.”

Dana took a small bite and the effect was instant. “Wow. That’s…that’s amazing. So if I choke this down I can eat whatever nasty shit Beel can?”

“That is NOT the point.”

Beelzebub snorted. “And this is why we’re friends, Luci.”

“You are both mad.” 

“Okay but if I eat the literal heaven bread I’m almost immortal?”

Luke goggled. “That’s not how it works!”

“It’s close though.”

“You…I…just don’t…”

“Okay fine. But can I eat the insects? Or at least try?”

“Actually they’re safe. It’s the mushrooms you don’t want.” Beelzebub spoke up.


	3. The Cure All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Reader is very adamant about the opportunity to try new things. Also, a very minor reference to The Divine Comedies, which is somewhat loosely referenced in Obey Me. Also we WONDER how true the warnings about Mammon really are...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mean, wouldn't you try everything you couldn't eat if you had a free pass to try it?

“Okay I’m not going to be stupid about this. I promise. But can I try this one thing if I have the cure all?”

“Oh I bet it’s human. You want to try human!”

“NO! Uh…Well no. Maybe if I knew I was going to - NO. No human.”

Mammon snickered. “It’s really not that bad.”

“I don’t think you’ve ACTUALLY ever eaten a person Mammon. You just say you do to sound big.”

“Eh, well…” Beelzebub looked uncomfortable. “That’s…”

“Okay let’s just ignore it. I want to eat shellfish. I want to eat the hell version of lobster. Please I am allergic…but if Luke can make me food that counters the effects I’d like to try it. I’ll take one bite and then eat a bite of the cure!”

“You should be able to do that. Actually here.”

Satan gave Dana a bright smile. “Your punishment isn’t gluttony. You were only sick because you can’t digest our food. As long as you stick to human food or Celestial food you should be okay. You’ll find here you can have lobsters or shrimp or whatever you like if they’re from the human world.”

“Um…what do you mean that my punishment isn’t gluttony. Because that’s worrying me a good deal more.”

“I think we’ll be good friends. The best.”

“Don’t scare her Satan. After all she loves food. Who's to say I don’t get her.”

“Um…so okay. I can be angry if it means I get to try lobster.”


	4. Truth or Dare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh there had to be a truth or dare chapter. We all know this to be true. In this particular chapter our MC is female.

“Truth or Dare. This is going to be way more crazy than the earth version. Who wants to go first?”

“I will.”

“Beel, stepping up. Okay. What are you going for?”

“Dare.”

“I dare you to…eat the wax candle in Lucifer’s bedroom.”

“Done.”

The whole party followed the demon out of the bedroom and down the hall where Beelzebub ate a whole wax candle.

“That’s not right Beel.”

“It was cherry and cinnamon.”

“Still wrong”

“But he did do it so that means he gets to pick who goes next.”

“Can we get out of here before Lucifer shows up?”

The group hurried out of the bedroom immediately.

“Okay okay who is next.” 

“I will.” Asmodeus stuck his hand up from the back of the group.’

“So um. I say “Truth or Dare right?”

“Yeah.”

“Truth or dare?”

Asmodeus thought for a moment. “Truth I guess.”

“Tell us what you really think of Dana.”

“Please don’t! I…”

The demon chuckled. “She’s quite pretty for a human but awfully small.”

Dana laughed. “I’m okay with this.”

“Aw we all know you love Beel.”

“Lies, she’s GAY.”

“I’m bi and I love Beel. And it’s not even my turn. And, for that I get to play next.”

“I guess that’s fair. Okay who do you pick.”

‘Mammon. Was Lucifer right about you eating people. The truth now, that’s the game.”

“Yes.”

“Were you going to eat Me?”

“…no.”

“I didn’t think so.”

“Maybe.”

“I still didn’t think so”


	5. Pet Chef

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beelzebub has mentioned he wants a pet chef. The logistics of this are contemplated. Platonish cuddling occurs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can tell you how hard it is to cook a full meal by oneself. It's honestly a full work out.

“So a pet chef, huh? What am I, a cooking rat?”

“You’d cook me a rat?” 

“No. It’s…it’s a human movie… y’know what? If you want to know, ask Leviathan. He knows about human media, he’ll probably be happy to explain it, I’m sure. So, back to this pet thing. Do I have a cage and a leash and you let me out to take a sh –”

“It’s not like that!”

“–on the lawn?” It was almost cruel teasing Beelzebub. Almost. Yes he was definitely a demon, but his earnestness and actual blush wasn’t nearly as much fun as giving the business to say, Mammon. “Do I at least get to sleep at the end of the bed?”

“I…”

“No no no, man it might not be all bad. You know, if I actually cooked the amount of food you ate on a daily basis I’d be about as ripped as you in no time! That and my feet would kill me.”

“You’re not worried about working in a demon kitchen?”

“No, not a whit. Come on, I’m too small. Even the shortest of you is almost a foot taller than I am. Plus I’m too skinny to eat. Or there’s always the obvious joke here.”

There was a few raised eyebrows before a rather obvious snicker sounded from the other end of the room. Clearly this had been Asmodeus, for whom the joke had not been in fact lost on.

“Care to prove that? Why don’t you come over here and give us a cuddle.”

That of course achieved the correct outraged squawk from Mammon. “Excuse me, if anyone is going to be cuddling the human it will be me. That’s all you were looking for anyway! Any lame excuse to snuggle.” 

Asmodeus chuckled. “First of all, that sounds like the sort of stupid thing you would think of, and second of all, as disappointing as it seems, I think Beel already has it covered.”

“I have a popcorn bowl on my head.” Sure enough, when sitting back to Beel’s chest, the demon’s legs extended far beyond yours. “Uh…popcorn bowl aside and setting aside the fact this isn’t the first time I’ve used a part of my anatomy as a food shelf, I really can’t say I’m worried about being a pet. In fact, I daresay the roles are reversed. I feed him, then he sleeps, he enjoys head pets and belly rubs and he drapes himself all over me. I occasionally get slobbered on.”

What had you thought before about it being sort of cruel to tease Beel? But he’d probably let it roll off his back if the others said anything anyway. Oh hell, look at that, the popcorn bowl was now on the bed…there’d probably be a butter grease stain. Maybe you should be more worried that you were very locked in now. Trying to get out from Beelzebub/s embrace was like trying to wriggle out from under a pile of bricks…comfy…warm…bricks. 

You still weren’t quite sure what this relationship was now, but it didn’t seem to matter.

“Okay. We’ll just sleep and figure out the specifics later.”


End file.
